Practicing the ministry of presence together

 

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

DFMS Noonday Prayer

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Commemoration of Zenaida, Philonella & Hermione

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Today we remember three women physicians known for treating everyone who came to them regardless of their ability to pay. It is indeed a time for giving thanks to all those in the medical profession who have worked so tirelessly to care for so many people in the last year. They have given their expertise and brilliance. They have given their care and generosity. In some cases they have given their lives to help others. What a beautiful example of the power of love. That self giving love of Jesus has been evident in so many ways and places over the last year. 

Indeed let us honor physicians and all healthcare workers, as our reading from Sirach does. Let us praise their skills and wisdom. Their God given talents to care for those who are ill. Indeed in the midst of illness we should pray, and we should seek medical treatment. We need both. Prayer is always a good idea. So is doing everything we can to take care of our physical bodies. 

Of course, it would be selling them short to say that the gifts of a physician are merely in applying the principles of science. There is more to it than that. It is not just about making the right diagnosis or having the right medicine. There is an art to healing. An art that requires wisdom and understanding. 

I think most of you know by now that I have a long and complicated medical history. Born twelve weeks prematurely, a cancer patient at 13, and then two high risk pregnancies that blessedly resulted in wonderful healthy children brought into this world by c-sections. I have also worked as a hospital chaplain. I have spent a lot of time receiving and observing medical care. It is just that, “care.”

It is care of the whole person. In fact, I learned a lot from doctors and medical professionals about the ministry of presence. About how much it matters how we show up. This is the kind of thing that applies to all of us in our professional and our personal lives. Are we able to be present when someone needs us? And I mean fully present. Looking people in the eye. Listening. Really listening. Open to learning. Open to hearing another point of view. Are we communicating with our body language, with our eyes, with our facial expressions, that the person we are with matters? Can we be the person today who affirms for them the truth that they are a beloved child of God?

Doing that, being that present takes work. Especially this year. We are all tired. Or maybe weary is a better word. It is easy to feel overwhelmed. We all need the space to grieve. Especially now. Things are beginning to feel hopeful and open again, so little by little our bodies are lightening up on their tight grip on everything. I think many of us have been in survival mode for the past year. We have been focused on just getting through it all. We have been coping. We have just been figuring out how to get to tomorrow. It is only now, and in the weeks and months ahead that we can begin to really grieve, to feel the magnitude of what this year has meant. To feel and begin to understand how we and the world have been irrevocably changed by what has happened. It is a time to be gentle with ourselves. To have compassion for ourselves and each other. 

And so it may seem like an impossible task that we are being asked today. To work at being more present. But here’s the thing. I think it might actually be the key to no longer feeling weary and anxious. Because being present has rewards that far outweigh the challenges. Being present enables us to build connections with each other. It reminds us that we are not alone. Remember it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Remember that smiles (even behind a mask) are the good kind of contagious. When you see someone else smile, when you have helped make someone else smile, how can that not bring joy to our hearts? 

No doubt there are days when we feel empty and depleted. That’s okay. This has been a hard time. And we don’t have to stay that way. None of us has to do this alone. We are all in this together. If we can be more present to each other, we will build each other up. Together we can have what we need to move forward into the glorious future God has in store for us. Amen. 

Love and the limits of the English Language

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Chapel of our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Charles Simeon, November 12, 2019

Psalm 145:8-13; Isaiah 12:1-6; Romans 10:8b-17;John 21:15-17

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Perhaps one of the most quotable movies of my childhood is the fairy tale movie, Princess Bride. One of my favorite quotes is from Mandy Patikin’s character, in response to his friend who keeps saying “Inconceivable!” He says, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” I think Mandy would fit right in with our Gospel reading for today. I can just imagine him standing next to Jesus and Peter, saying, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” So true.  

This is one of those Gospel readings where the limits of the English language really do us a disservice. Jesus and Peter are having a conversation, but when we look at the original Greek, “conversation” might be a little generous. They are really talking past each other. Jesus keeps asking Peter if he loves him. Peter keeps saying he does, but they are not actually saying the same thing. Jesus is asking Peter if he loves him, using the Greek word, Agape. Peter keeps answering that he loves him using the Greek word, Phileo. As most of you likely know, those two words do not mean the same thing. 

Agape love is the love Jesus has for us. It is the love of spouses for each other. It is the love parents have for their children. It is the love of cherished values and principles. It is the kind of love that we would give anything to protect, up to and including our own lives. It is the self-sacrificing love we see most evident in the life and death of Jesus. 

And Peter just keeps answering him with “Phileo.” That’s the love of friends. It can be deep and meaningful, of course. But it is not the all consuming, all giving love that is Agape. It is just another story where it can be tempting to chide the disciples for how thick headed they can be. You want to shake Peter’s shoulder and say, “Don’t you get it? Don’t you hear what Jesus is asking of you? He doesn’t just want you to be his friend. He wants you to be willing to lay down your life for him.” It is easy to chide Peter for his thick headedness or for his fear, but really if we think about it, no doubt, we too have had our Peter moments. 

This conversation has significant staying power because it is a conversation any of us could have on any day with Jesus. We are faced with a question or with a dilemma, and through it Jesus is asking us, “Do you love me?” Jesus is asking us to do the right thing, even if it is hard. To follow the Way of Love. To do the thing that calls us into being our best self. To do the thing that builds up the Kingdom.  

And yet, it can be so tempting to be like Peter. Especially if we are tired or anxious. If we are feeling angry or unloved ourselves. If we are feeling short on patience, then it can be tempting to want to be like Peter and give just a little bit. 

But where our faith is concerned, where Jesus is concerned, a little bit does not cut it. Being a follower of Jesus is not something we can do lightly or half-heartedly. Jesus asks us to jump into the deep end of the pool, not to wade into our knees and call it good enough. It may seem like a lot to ask of us, to give our whole selves, our whole lives over to Jesus, but if we have ever felt the effects of agape love in our own human relationships, we know it is completely worth it. 

Perhaps you know that love from a spouse, someone who has willingly sacrificed in order to bring you joy. Or perhaps you have been blessed to have a parent who has given you that kind of love, where you have seen them put aside their own wants and desires in order to realize a dream for you? And if you are a parent, then you know what it feels like to give this love, it is instinctual and automatic. And the amazing thing is that it does not feel like a painful sacrifice, for the joy that comes from building up and caring for someone we love is a gift, a blessing far outweighs any challenges. And that my friends, is also the love that Jesus has for us. A generous, giving love that overflows into the world. 

In our Gospel today, and everyday, Jesus is inviting us to share in that love. To allow his love for us into our hearts, and to follow him, to love as he loves. Jesus is inviting us to be an example for the world of what it looks like to be a community of people who live lives overflowing with love. Jesus is inviting us to join him in transforming the world. AMEN.