Ease and security in the midst of chaos

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

DFMS Noonday Prayer via Zoom

Commemoration of Nicholas Ferrar

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Our text from Proverbs today closes with these lines . . . “but those who listen to me will be secure and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.’” Those lines got me thinking. Will be secure and will live at ease. Ooh. That sounds wonderful. Especially today. There is much that is weighing on our hearts and souls these days. It might be challenges in our own lives, our own families, or our communities. Or perhaps it is just the sheer volume of heart wrenching news headlines that come at us. A global pandemic. Oh, and it is the holiday season, which can come with its own set of complicated family dynamics and challenging memories to navigate. 

At first, those lines make me want to know where I find that magical elixir. Where is the way forward that does not have so many challenges? That life, that one that looks like a permanent vacation on a tropical island. Where do I find that? 

But then I catch myself. I catch my magical thinking. I catch my wishing for something that I know is impossible. A life free from suffering. Proverbs is not giving us the recipe for a life free from suffering, it is offering us an invitation to find peace and security, to find ease and comfort in the midst of challenges. 

While I think it is right and meet to be wishing and working for the outside circumstances to be different. I am inordinately grateful for all of the ways and all of the people who are doing that. All the hard work that is happening - particularly by medical and scientific professionals to bring healing and relief. We can and should do much to alleviate unnecessary suffering - from illness, from injustice. 

And we cannot and will not eliminate everything. So, we have the invitation to find peace and comfort in the midst of it all. I think this means having practices that help us stay grounded and connected to God. It can be tempting to think this means we have to be like Nicholas Ferrar whom we remember today. That we have to found a new religious community and try to pray without ceasing. I am sure most of us are too exhausted to even begin to contemplate that, let alone attempt it. 

This is when I find it helpful to remember that with the right mindset, much of our daily life can be prayer. Prayer is not limited to being on our knees in the right place with the right words. We can live prayerfully wherever we are, whatever we are doing.

A number of years ago, I read a book that I continue to go back to when I am struggling with prayer or feeling like I am “failing” at spiritual practices. The book is called Sabbath in the Suburbs. It is written by Mary Ann McKibben Dana, a Presbyterian Pastor who lives in suburban DC. She and her engineer husband have three kids in elementary and middle school. They undertake the goal of practicing a sabbath every week for a year. They choose Saturdays because that is the only common day off. The book chronicles their efforts. There is a moment from the chapter on Advent that has stayed with me. Mary Ann looks at her combined to do list of church and family tasks and realizes that a full on sabbath where you stay home and really rest is just not possible that day. So, she decides she is going to go through her task list “sabbathly.” Mary Ann reminds us that it is our attitude, our disposition that matters. Real life happens. We are not always able to live up to the lofty goals we set for our own spiritual journeys. But the realities of life do not mean we have to beat ourselves up for failure. We can simply adjust our mindset and seek to carry the spirit of sabbath with us. If our mindset is in the right place, even our tasks can be prayer.

We can honor the legacy of Nicholas, a legacy of prayer and devotion. We can discover what it means to find security and ease. Not because the world has somehow dramatically changed around us, but because we have changed. The transformation has happened in our hearts and minds. Even in the midst of whatever crises and challenges we may face, we will know that peace of God, because we have kept ourselves grounded and connected to God and to the practices that restore our souls. AMEN. 

Mary and Martha or Michelle and Molly?

Molly & Michelle in college

Rev. Molly F. James

Chapel of Our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Mechtilde and Gertrude 

November 19, 2019

May God's word be spoken, May God's Word be heard, and May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

So, if we just changed the names, today's Gospel story of Mary and Martha could easily be about my college roommate Michelle and me. I am definitely a Martha. I get easily distracted by all the things I have to do. I get thinking about all the things I am supposed to do, and I often feel like I can't relax until I have done all the things on my “to do” list. I often like to work ahead. This meant in college that I would often write a paper days or even weeks before it was due. My roommate, Michelle, on the other hand, was quite adept at waking up early and cranking out a very good paper the day it was due. I marveled at this skill. To me that seemed like a very stressful way to do things. Yet the interesting thing was, my roommate did not seem very stressed. And although I know her mother would have preferred that my study skills inspired on Michelle, it happened the other way round. Mostly Michelle inspired me.

I learned that it was in fact possible to leave one's work behind and go have fun. Michelle helped me to remember that time having fun, time building relationships is important. Just as, if not even more important, than homework. Michelle showed me that life is much more fun if you learn how to forget about the “to do” list on occasion. It may be possible to do all our homework first in elementary school, but as we get older our to do lists get longer and longer. It just does not work to try to always work first and play later. We have to develop a balance. We have to learn how to incorporate play time and sabbath time in the midst of our busy lives.

The Gospel story today reminds us that what really matters is sabbath time. There will always be things to distract and worry us. Always being a “Martha” is a recipe for burnout. We need to cultivate our Mary moments. We need to cultivate time to slow down and rest. Time to be spiritually fed. Time to listen to what God is saying to us.

This is a counter­cultural idea. As any glance at a newspaper or a television will tell us, our culture is continually offering us ways to do more. The internet, email and cell phones allow us to be “at work” wherever we are. Stores expand their hours and encourage us to shop online at any time of the day or night. Now, of course, when we have a problem or need something fixed, we're glad that a repair person is willing to come out on a Sunday. We are glad when we can talk to customer service person at 11 o'clock at night. But if we are making a regular habit of doing “work” at those late hours or on what should be our sabbath, we ought to be asking ourselves whether this is really the best use of our time.

We need to slow down. We need to take a break. Now, I am not advocating throwing out our cell phones or disconnecting our computers. And I am not saying that we should never do work on the weekend. Nor would Michelle say that. She has gone on to become a successful lawyer and has put in many over­time hours. But if we find ourselves feeling tired and overwhelmed, we need to check the balance of Mary and Martha time in our lives. If we feel exhausted, chances are we have let Martha take over. We have forgotten the importance of slowing down and taking sabbath.

Because if we do that, if we slow down and take time for ourselves, we will actually be more productive in the time we do work. We need time to just sit, as Mary does. Time to sit and listen to Christ. Time to listen to who God is calling us to be. We can be assured that God is calling us to be whole, healthy, happy people. God is not interested in seeing us overworked or burnt out. As Christ reminds Mary and Martha, the fruits of the sabbath are something that cannot be taken away. The gifts of a deeper relationship with God. The fruits of listening to Christ, of taking time to “sit at his feet” and absorb his message are everlasting.

I am sure we have all met people who seem to possess an inner peace. They do not seem harried by the affairs of the world or the challenges of everyday life. This is not a unique gift that is only given to a select few. It is a gift freely given by God to us all, if only we are willing to cultivate it.

As Michelle, my roommate, showed me, it is not a gift that is cultivated by doing more work. It is a gift cultivated by slowing down, letting go and putting things aside. It is a gift that is cultivated by valuing relationships more than tasks.

It is also about filling our spiritual reservoirs up, so that we have the strength, courage and abiding faith we need to be God’s people in the world. And the world is very much in need of faithful people. There has been far too much violence in our news headlines, in California, in Syria, in our own cities and towns. Too many communities are divided. We seem far more aware in recent weeks of the realities of human sinfulness and how much pain and suffering there is. There is much work for us to do in the world. The world needs our hope. It needs our story of how God can bring new life out of humanity’s darkest moments. The world needs our conviction that God’s beautiful, restoring, reconciling love is at work in the world. The world needs to hear our belief that transformation is possible. 

And in order to do that holy work in the world, we need Sabbath time. Sabbath is meant to be an integral part of our lives. Just as we care for our bodies by eating well and drinking water everyday, so to are we to care for our souls by observing sabbath. Sabbath does not necessarily mean that we have to withdraw from the world for one day every week. But sabbath does mean that we must be sure that we do not let days go by without taking time for ourselves to be with God. Especially as our hearts are breaking at our news headlines or at events in our own lives and communities, we need sabbath so that we have the strength and the courage to live out our faith in the world.

Time for prayer and Bible study are wonderful ways to deepen our relationship with God, and those are not the only ways. Sabbath time is time to do whatever it is that is restorative. That may be time to read a good book just for fun. It may be time outside. It may be time with loved ones or a phone call to an old friend. It may be watching a movie or playing a game. It may be time to work on a favorite craft or hobby. It may be time to just sit and do nothing. Whatever it is, it needs to be an integral part of our lives. We all need time for the things that help us to breathe easier, the things that make us smile. I think those two measures are a good way to test ourselves as to whether we have enough sabbath in our lives. How's our breathing? Is it slow and deep? Do we feel relaxed? And are we smiling? How many things have we done today that have made us smile?

If the answer is zero or only one or two, if our breathing is fast or shallow – those are telltale signs that we do not have enough sabbath in our lives. And we all know that each of us, and the world as a whole could use more hope and transformation, which will only be possible if we all have a little more sabbath. 

AMEN. 

Homily on Benedict of Nursia

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Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Chapel of Our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

July 11, 2019, Feast of St. Benedict

Psalm 1; Proverbs 2:1-9; Luke 14:27-33 

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be always acceptable in your sight O Lord. Our Strength and our Redeemer. Amen. 

Today we celebrate St. Benedict, famous for founding monasteries and authoring a Rule of Life for them that bears his name and has been deeply influential on the spiritual lives of many, inside and outside the monastery. Benedict is perhaps best known for the way he structured the day for his monks: “ An average day includes about four hours to be spent in liturgical prayer (the Divine Office), five hours in spiritual reading and study, six hours of labor, one hour for eating, and about eight hours for sleep.” Sounds like a pretty nice day actually. But where is the commuting? The wrangling of children? The laundry? Paying bills? All the mundane and necessary tasks of daily life. Also, I am not sure we could actually accomplish the jobs we have been hired to do if we only worked six hours. Also I think I would like to have longer than 20 minutes to eat at least some of my meals. But imagine being able to spend four hours a day in prayer. Wouldn’t we be spiritually centered and grounded. Presumably everything would be better if we could spend that much time in prayer. Imagine being able to read the whole of the Book of Psalms every week, as Benedict and his monks did. 

Well, I doubt many of us are going to completely follow Benedict’s Rule. Nor the literal admonition in our Gospel reading for today to give up all our possessions. If you are ready to do so, more power to you. I applaud you. I think that level of sacrifice and the daily regimen really only works in a monastery. Yet there are valuable insights for those of us who are striving to live more faithful lives in the midst of the busy-ness of the world and work and family life. The gift for us is in the attitude and approach that Benedict offered. Even if we do not literally give up everything we have and move to a monastery, we can honor the spirit of Benedict’s life and the ways  in which he calls us to be more faithful followers of Jesus.  

In some ways separating out the day as he did into separate blocks of prayer time, work time, study time, etc. is a bit of a misnomer. The separations could lead us to think that prayer has to somehow be separate from the rest of our lives. Actually in Benedict there is an invitation to intricately weave and connect prayer to everything we do. Indeed our work can be prayer, our mundane tasks can be prayer, our meals can be prayer, everything we do in a day can be done prayerfully. 

Even if you know me only a little bit, you might be able to guess that I am not particularly good at Centering Prayer or any kind of prayer practices that requires long periods of sitting in silence. It doesn’t fit well with my personality nor with family life with small children. I used to bemoan my failings on this front, because I had somehow gotten it in my head that quiet, meditative prayer was somehow THE superior form of prayer. But what Benedict’s life and work teach us that prayer does not only need to happen in moments of silence and contemplation, it can happen as we fold the laundry, do the dishes, sit at our desks, commute home, exercise, etc. Prayer is really about deepening our relationship with God and paying attention to how God is at work in our lives and in the world. The question is not about what we are DOING at any given moment, the question is about our own hearts and minds. What is our attitude? What is our disposition? Are we moving through our day with an openness to what God is up to in our lives and in the world?

A number of years ago, I read a book that I found to be very helpful in incorporating spiritual practices in daily life. It is called Sabbath in the Suburbs. It is written by Mary Ann McKibben Dana, a Presbyterian Pastor who lives in suburban DC. She and her engineer husband have three kids in elementary and middle school. They undertake the goal of practicing a sabbath every week for a year. They choose Saturdays because that is the only common day off. The book chronicles their efforts. There is a moment from the chapter on Advent that has stayed with me. Mary Ann looks at her combined to do list of church and family tasks and realizes that a full on sabbath where you stay home and really rest is just not possible that day. So, she decides she is going to go through her task list “sabbathly.” Mary Ann reminds us that it is our attitude, our disposition that matters. Real life happens. We are not always able to live up to the lofty goals we set for our own spiritual journeys. But the realities of life do not mean we have to beat ourselves up for failure. We can simply adjust our mindset and seek to carry the spirit of sabbath with us. If our mindset is in the right place, even our tasks can be prayer.

So, I hope that today is an opportunity to refresh our spiritual lives and to be reminded that just like Benedict and Mary Ann, we can integrate prayer into our daily lives. In fact our whole lives can be prayer. AMEN. 

Chatting with God

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Rev. Molly F. James, PhD
Chapel of our Lord, Episcopal Church Center
May 14, 2019
Acts 11:19-26; Psalm 87; John 10:22-30


May the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable in your sight O Lord, our Strength and our Redeemer. Amen.

The people said to Jesus: “‘How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.’ “Tell us plainly.” Isn’t that the truth? Don’t we so often wish for that to be true? Couldn’t we just have a clear pronouncement from God? A clear revelation about what God thinks and what we should do in a given situation? Perhaps could we have a voice from the heavens or a letter that arrived in our mailbox? Actually, it’s the 21st century, perhaps God could just send us a text?

Wow. Wouldn’t that be nice? Wouldn’t it be great to have that sort of clarity whenever we need it. It would be like those chat windows that pop up when you are trying to make a customer service inquiry with a company, except it would be God, so you would get instantaneous help that actually answered your questions. No wait time. No long winded explanations. No please provide all the possible identifying information we might need to solve this problem. Just help and clarity.

The disciples must of had that, instant clarity and help. I mean there they were walking around with Jesus. They had the Lord himself. Right in front of them. They could talk to him. They could touch him.

But what does Jesus say to them, when they ask him to “Tell us plainly.” He said, ‘I have told you, and you do not believe.” Hmm. I wonder if that applies to us too?

“I have told you, and you do not believe.” I think that might very well apply to us. I know it applies to me. Jesus has told us. God has told us. In so many ways, we have been told who God is, and what God expects of us.

But just like St. Paul, we (individually and collectively as the whole of humanity) fall short again and again. We do those things which we know we ought not to do. We have our moments of thinking we have the answers or we are in control. Or we are just tired or short on patience, and so we seek what seems like the easier path.

Funny thing about that. Why is it that we are tempted to follow our own way? Or tempted by laziness or tempted to lash out at someone we love? We are tempted to do this, even when we know on some level that it is not the right thing to do?

For me, this cycle is most evident in parenting. Take the end of a long day when we are all hungry and tired and trying to get home to start dinner. One of our kids could ask a simple question or just be slow in getting their seat belt on. I snap an answer or a command. I am not being my best self. I know that. Pretty much as soon as the words are out of my mouth. But somehow it still happens.

But it does not always happen, and that is where the hope is. There are days when I can keep my voice even, and I am able to delve into their question or just wait while they struggle to get buckled. What is it that makes those days different?

I will offer my experience, in the hopes that it is something of value to you all as well, whether your moments of frustration come in parenting or some other facet of life.

I have noticed that I have more patience. I am more able to follow on the path that I know I should follow, the Way of Love. I am more able to be my best self, to live more fully into who God is calling me to be, when I am grounded. What does being grounded look like?

It looks like taking care of myself - body, mind, and spirit. It means getting enough sleep and exercise. It means eating foods that taste good and are good for me. It means having regular time for worship and prayer. It means have sabbath time. Now that does not always mean a whole 24 hours “off” in a week. It might. Or it might just mean that I take a day in which I do the tasks I have to accomplish at a less hurried rate, with a sabbath mindset. And it means actually taking vacation with my family. It also means making use of the myriad of opportunities we have to learn something new. Finally, it means making sure I am making good use of the support system I have developed. Regular time for in depth conversation with my husband, so that we talk about more than all the logistics of family life for the next. Time with my therapist, my spiritual director and an invaluable group of colleagues with whom there is a covenant that we will support each other and tell each other the truth (even when it is hard) for the rest of our lives.

So that is my list of what keeps me healthy, grounded, filled up, so that I can live more fully into who God is calling me to be. So that I can at least more often avoid the temptation to ignore what Jesus has told us about who is and how we are supposed to live. If you have not made that list for yourself recently, I would encourage you to do so. And I would encourage you to make a habit of checking in on it every few months. Indeed, Jesus has told us and shown us our Way. The challenge is in having the self-discipline and the capacity to follow it. The good news is, Jesus is also really clear that we are not meant to do it alone. AMEN.

Sabbath and Community

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Christ Church Cathedral, Hartford, CT

Proper 21B; September 30, 2019

Numbers 11:4-6,10-16,24-29; Psalm 19:7-14; James 5:13-20; Mark 9:38-50

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word, who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Oooh how I love today’s reading from Numbers. It is SO human. The Israelites are complaining to Moses that there is nothing good to eat. They are grumbling and wishing they were back in Egypt. So Moses goes to the Lord and complains that he has to lead these ungrateful people. Sounds a lot like the end of a family road trip when everyone is tired, hungry, and just wants to get out of the car! And it is worth noting the very human tendency to blame someone else rather than take responsibility for our own actions or embrace our own power to change the future.

Isn’t it amazing how our perspective can shrink when we are tired or hungry or stressed out? Here the Israelites are in the wilderness. They are free. They are being provided sufficient food and water. They are together. They have a leader. God is with them. They are not still in Egypt. They are no longer slaves. They are not being forced to do back breaking work making bricks for Pharaoh's buildings. There is so much that is new and good in their lives, but all they can talk about is the fact there is not any meat. They even go so far as to say that life was better in Egypt, because they had meat! Really?!

And then there is Moses. He has been put in charge of leading this whole nation. God is with him. God has confidence in him. Thus far God has empowered and equipped Moses every step of the way. Does Moses go to God to say, “God, please help me to remember how faithful you are and how you will continue to be with us. Please help me share this truth with the Israelites.” No, Moses goes to God and complains. He asks God why he even put him in charge of these people. Why does he have to lead a bunch of complainers? This is no fun, and Moses would like to give them back.

Can’t you just picture it? Moses is ranting and raving. Probably pacing back and forth, gesturing widely. And you can just see God, the ever patient parent, smiling and nodding, just waiting for Moses to get all the anger out of his system, so God can calmly explain why it is all going to be okay, and Moses can even have help.

Ah, there it is. There is the heart of the message I needed to hear today. Perhaps you do as well?

I will confess to easily falling into the same bad habits as Moses and the Israelites. I can lose my perspective. I can get too inwardly focused on my own needs and challenges. I can think I need to be doing it all by myself. I can forget to pause and reorient my vision and my priorities. I can forget to keep things in perspective. I can get too caught up in the need to accomplish and achieve and fail to keep myself grounded in God’s love and God’s abiding presence.

There are some very important reminders in today’s readings for those of us who feel overwhelmed by the problems of the world, or who feel pulled in too many directions, or who feel exhausted by the pace of life. The first reminder is that we do not need to do it all by ourselves. There is nothing in life that has to be done solo. Of course, things CAN be done solo, but choosing to work alone and feeling as though we are all out on our own are two very different things. Both in our Numbers reading and in the Epistle and even in in the Gospel, we are reminded that God invites his followers to do ministry as a team. Elders get appointed to join Moses in leadership. James is all about being in relationship. Healing happens when you go seek out the elders. Notice how everything in James is in the plural. There is nothing done just by one person alone. In the Gospel, Jesus does not stop someone from doing good works in his name, Jesus realizes that the work we are about in the world is huge, and we need all the hands we can find. Ministry, all our ministry, is meant to be done in a team. We are created to be in relationship. We are created to work together.

The other important reminder for us today is that we need to ground ourselves first and foremost in God’s love. I recently read a book entitled Sabbath as Resistance by biblical scholar Walter Brueggemann. This book serves as a wonderful reminder of the importance of sabbath. It is also very much connected with our reading from Numbers today. Brueggemann notes that the command for sabbath came to the Israelites while they were in the wilderness, once they had left their lives under Pharaoh's rule, where worth was entirely measured by the production of a commodity. Brueggemann draws parallels from that life to our own society, noting that “In our own contemporary context of the rat race of anxiety, the celebration of Sabbath is an act of both resistance and alternative. It is resistance because it is a visible insistence that our lives are not defined by the production and consumption of commodity goods.” (Preface) Like the Israelites, we are restless. Brueggemann invites us to take a journey, not out into a literal wilderness, but to relocate ourselves emotionally, liturgically, and economically through the practice of sabbath. Brueggemann defines sabbath as “the pause that transforms,” as “an acknowledgment that what is needed is given and need not be seized,” (p. 45) and as “the regular, disciplined, visible, concrete yes to the neighborly reality of the community beloved by God.” (p. 87)

Sabbath is a reminder that we are created to be in relationship with God and with each other. Sabbath is a reminder that our worth is not wrapped up in what we do or have or acheive. Our worth is wrapped up in God’s love. We are worthy. We are valuable, each and every person, each and every one of us, because we are beloved of God.

So, I hope in our readings this week, you will find permission to be gentle with yourself when you find yourself complaining like Moses and the Israelites. Take a deep breath. Pray. Ground yourself in God’s love. Reach out to the people around you who you love most. Cultivate the relationships that sustain you. Take a “pause that transforms.” Even if you can’t take a whole day off, find a part of a day, find a few hours. Even just a few minutes sprinkled through your day and your week will make a difference. And you deserve it. AMEN.