Grumbling into Hope

A reservoir

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD
DFMS Noonday Prayer via Zoom
May 11, 2020, Commemoration of Johann Arndt And Jacob Böhm
Exodus 17:1–7;Psalm 119:137–144; Mark 6:45-52

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I don’t know about you all, but I love the stories of the Israelites grumbling in the wilderness. They are so real. So human. They sound just like any long family road trip. Or our own internal monologues on days that just are not going the way we had hoped. Today we get the Israelites complaining that they don’t have enough to drink water. Recently in our Morning Prayer readings we got them talking about how slavery in Egypt was better because they had fish and cucumbers. Ah yes, I bet we have all done that. We have wished to go back, we have wished for comfort and familiarity, even when it was miserable - merely because it was a known entity.

Now, of course, we should give the Israelites some credit for asking for water. I mean, water is a necessity of life. We cannot live for long without it. They were not just asking for caviar or complaining that the soup wasn’t hot enough. They were desperate for survival. They were fearful. They had lost their perspective.

That is something else I love about these stories. That is part of why they resonate. If I find myself in a place of worry and fear, in my own places of grumbling and frustration, it is because I too have lost my perspective. My world has shrunk in on itself. I am only aware of my own needs, my own emotions, my own pain. It can feel frantic because I think I am alone, and I have to get myself out of it all by myself. Yet, nothing is further from the truth. I am not alone. The Israelites were not alone. They had each other. They had Moses. And God was with them. Oh. Right. We are not alone. Ever.

It is easy for us to forget that all important truth. Pain, struggle, fear can all feel overwhelming at times. These are indeed days when it is easy to lose our perspective. Like the Israelites we are wandering in a wilderness. The future seems uncertain, and there are moments when our very survival seems unsure. We have been, sadly, regularly reminded that these are perilous times.

That can shrink our vision. They can make us lose sight of the abundance of God’s love that is always present in our lives, if we are paying attention. God is indeed present to us each and every step of the way. Johann and Jacob, the mystics we remember today, remind us that God is indeed present in our lives, evident in the simple things, like the beauty of a sunbeam.

I hope that you can hang on to that knowledge in these days. I hope that even in the moments where your perspective has narrowed, even when the fear and sadness are very present, that somewhere in the back of your mind, in the depths of your heart, there is niggling reminder that there is more. May we see God in the beauty of a sunbeam. May we hear God in the voices of our friends, in the voices of loved ones, who gently remind us to widen our vision. Those who remind us that we are not alone. Who remind us to trust in what we know is true. God is with us. What we need is here. We are blessed with sustenance for our bodies and our souls. This wilderness may be longer and more challenging than we ever would have imagined. And yet we will not find hope and courage if we focus only on what is missing or what we wish were true.

Hope is found in letting go of a desire for everything to go as planned. Courage is found in trusting that we do not journey alone. God is with us. We have each other. Let us hold that truth together in our hearts, today and always. Amen.

Sabbath and Community

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Christ Church Cathedral, Hartford, CT

Proper 21B; September 30, 2019

Numbers 11:4-6,10-16,24-29; Psalm 19:7-14; James 5:13-20; Mark 9:38-50

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word, who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Oooh how I love today’s reading from Numbers. It is SO human. The Israelites are complaining to Moses that there is nothing good to eat. They are grumbling and wishing they were back in Egypt. So Moses goes to the Lord and complains that he has to lead these ungrateful people. Sounds a lot like the end of a family road trip when everyone is tired, hungry, and just wants to get out of the car! And it is worth noting the very human tendency to blame someone else rather than take responsibility for our own actions or embrace our own power to change the future.

Isn’t it amazing how our perspective can shrink when we are tired or hungry or stressed out? Here the Israelites are in the wilderness. They are free. They are being provided sufficient food and water. They are together. They have a leader. God is with them. They are not still in Egypt. They are no longer slaves. They are not being forced to do back breaking work making bricks for Pharaoh's buildings. There is so much that is new and good in their lives, but all they can talk about is the fact there is not any meat. They even go so far as to say that life was better in Egypt, because they had meat! Really?!

And then there is Moses. He has been put in charge of leading this whole nation. God is with him. God has confidence in him. Thus far God has empowered and equipped Moses every step of the way. Does Moses go to God to say, “God, please help me to remember how faithful you are and how you will continue to be with us. Please help me share this truth with the Israelites.” No, Moses goes to God and complains. He asks God why he even put him in charge of these people. Why does he have to lead a bunch of complainers? This is no fun, and Moses would like to give them back.

Can’t you just picture it? Moses is ranting and raving. Probably pacing back and forth, gesturing widely. And you can just see God, the ever patient parent, smiling and nodding, just waiting for Moses to get all the anger out of his system, so God can calmly explain why it is all going to be okay, and Moses can even have help.

Ah, there it is. There is the heart of the message I needed to hear today. Perhaps you do as well?

I will confess to easily falling into the same bad habits as Moses and the Israelites. I can lose my perspective. I can get too inwardly focused on my own needs and challenges. I can think I need to be doing it all by myself. I can forget to pause and reorient my vision and my priorities. I can forget to keep things in perspective. I can get too caught up in the need to accomplish and achieve and fail to keep myself grounded in God’s love and God’s abiding presence.

There are some very important reminders in today’s readings for those of us who feel overwhelmed by the problems of the world, or who feel pulled in too many directions, or who feel exhausted by the pace of life. The first reminder is that we do not need to do it all by ourselves. There is nothing in life that has to be done solo. Of course, things CAN be done solo, but choosing to work alone and feeling as though we are all out on our own are two very different things. Both in our Numbers reading and in the Epistle and even in in the Gospel, we are reminded that God invites his followers to do ministry as a team. Elders get appointed to join Moses in leadership. James is all about being in relationship. Healing happens when you go seek out the elders. Notice how everything in James is in the plural. There is nothing done just by one person alone. In the Gospel, Jesus does not stop someone from doing good works in his name, Jesus realizes that the work we are about in the world is huge, and we need all the hands we can find. Ministry, all our ministry, is meant to be done in a team. We are created to be in relationship. We are created to work together.

The other important reminder for us today is that we need to ground ourselves first and foremost in God’s love. I recently read a book entitled Sabbath as Resistance by biblical scholar Walter Brueggemann. This book serves as a wonderful reminder of the importance of sabbath. It is also very much connected with our reading from Numbers today. Brueggemann notes that the command for sabbath came to the Israelites while they were in the wilderness, once they had left their lives under Pharaoh's rule, where worth was entirely measured by the production of a commodity. Brueggemann draws parallels from that life to our own society, noting that “In our own contemporary context of the rat race of anxiety, the celebration of Sabbath is an act of both resistance and alternative. It is resistance because it is a visible insistence that our lives are not defined by the production and consumption of commodity goods.” (Preface) Like the Israelites, we are restless. Brueggemann invites us to take a journey, not out into a literal wilderness, but to relocate ourselves emotionally, liturgically, and economically through the practice of sabbath. Brueggemann defines sabbath as “the pause that transforms,” as “an acknowledgment that what is needed is given and need not be seized,” (p. 45) and as “the regular, disciplined, visible, concrete yes to the neighborly reality of the community beloved by God.” (p. 87)

Sabbath is a reminder that we are created to be in relationship with God and with each other. Sabbath is a reminder that our worth is not wrapped up in what we do or have or acheive. Our worth is wrapped up in God’s love. We are worthy. We are valuable, each and every person, each and every one of us, because we are beloved of God.

So, I hope in our readings this week, you will find permission to be gentle with yourself when you find yourself complaining like Moses and the Israelites. Take a deep breath. Pray. Ground yourself in God’s love. Reach out to the people around you who you love most. Cultivate the relationships that sustain you. Take a “pause that transforms.” Even if you can’t take a whole day off, find a part of a day, find a few hours. Even just a few minutes sprinkled through your day and your week will make a difference. And you deserve it. AMEN.