Joy through Generosity

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

DFMS Noonday Prayer via Zoom

Commemoration of Phoebe, September 3, 2020

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

I have been re-reading the Book of Joy lately. It is a record of a week of conversation between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Two remarkable spiritual leaders who are also the best of friends. A mere transcript of their conversation would be joy-filled, yet the book also includes background information, wonderful stories, and much of the latest scientific research on how and why we experience joy. 

If you are not familiar with this book, it is really good reading at any time, and especially during a pandemic. There is such wisdom and perspective in it. And some of it is just exuded through the remarkable lives of these two men. One of their convictions is that if we can find perspective, a wideness of vision, a connection and sense of solidarity in the midst of our own trials our own suffering will be decreased. These two men certainly help with that. They have known no shortage of trials in their own lives, Aparthied, Cancer, an Exile of more than 50 years. Yet in their 80s they sit and laugh together. They exude joy. Their mere presence brings joy, even before they say a word. They each have a smile that gives you a sense of sheer delight. 

Well, if they can do it, so can we. And that is indeed their point. Joy is not something that is reserved for a select few or someone who is particularly enlightened. Joy is meant for all of us. It is foundational to our very existence. And here is the key, joy is found in caring for others, in relationship, in connection. A fitting insight for this day on which we remember Phoebe the Deacon, a servant by nature and calling, one who Paul says was a benefactor to many, including himself. And whose commemoration gives us the Gospel from Luke where Jesus reminds the disciples that they, like he, are here to serve. The glory, the joy, the blessing, the fulfillment is not found in being the most powerful person in the room. It is not about garnering attention or accolades. It is found in caring acts of generosity that connect us to another human being. 

Like so much wisdom, this is something we know intrinsically. We know it whenever we have been blessed to receive the care of another. And we know how deeply meaningful it is to be able to be present in the midst of a crisis for someone we care about or how our soul is blessed by the smile of stanger responding to a simple act of kindness. 

We know this truth. And yet, we also need to be reminded of it. Because sometimes it can be hard to get out of our own heads and hearts; we can get stuck in the mire of stress or grief or sadness, longing for someone else to notice and fix it. But what the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama remind us of, what Jesus is teaching the disciples and us, is that we have the key, or at least the foundation, to our own thriving. We need only reach out and make a connection with others. 

The Dalai Lama finds solace in knowing that he and his people are not alone in experiencing suffering. He noted that when we can see our suffering as a point of connection to so many other human beings, and “when we look at the same event from a wider perspective, we will reduce the worrying and our own suffering.”

The Archbishop said, “that ultimately our greatest joy is when we seek to do good for others . . . We are wired to be caring for the other and generous to one another. We shrivel when we are not able to interact. I mean that is part of the reason why solitary confinement is such a horrendous punishment. We depend on the other in order for us to be fully who we are.”

And the remarkable thing is that there is a wonderful cascading effect in widening our perspective and seeking out more joy. As the book notes, “The more we turn toward others, the more joy we experience, and the more joy we experience, the more we can bring joy to others. The goal is not just to create joy for ourselves but, as the Archbishop poetically phrased it, “to be a reservoir of joy, an oasis of peace, a pool of serenity that can ripple out to all those around you.”

So, if we find ourselves turning inward, if we find ourselves struggling under the weight of the world, or the weight of the challenges in our own lives or those dear to us, there is a way out. We can take heart. We can have hope. Always. We are never alone in our suffering. God knows our suffering. The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama know what it is to suffer. Our experiences of suffering connect us deeply to each other. Suffering is a mark of our shared humanity. And our shared humanity, our connection to others, is also our salvation. It is the way out of the darkness of our own pain. We need only reach out. A kindness, an act of compassion, a moment of generosity will start us out on the road to our own healing. 

We need not grin and bear it. We need not muscle through. There is no glory there. The way forward is never a solitary path. It is the one where we are caring for and being cared for by the wise and generous souls whose presence brings us joy. May we daily know the blessing and gift of community. Amen.