Remembering we are loved

Garden at Harkness Memorial Park in CT

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

DFMS Noonday Prayer via Zoom

October 27, 2020

Eph. 5:21-33; Psalm 128;Luke 13:18-21

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.” So, it may not come as much of a surprise to you that I find this to be a challenging reading.  It seems to go against my own values, my own understanding of what marriage is supposed to be in today's world.  I want to start arguing with the text. I want to argue that it was written for another time and another place. Its author was trying to promote the social mores of his day. I want to argue that his vision of marriage does not fit my own ideas, those of our current world, or the modern Church. I want to point out to the author that the woman's marriage vow in the Book of Common Prayer has not contained the word “obey” since the 1892 Prayer Book. 

So, I could make these points. Yet where does this arguing get me? The author is not here to argue back. Nor I do not have the right to go editing or changing this text, nor is it likely the 5th chapter of Ephesians is going to be removed from the Christian Canon, just because I find it problematic! This arguing only gets ME upset. If it accomplishes anything, it keeps me from really reading the text, from really listening to what they text is trying to tell me. It keeps me from seeing the breadth and depth of this text. 

The broader message at the heart of this text that is valuable for all of us is about our relationship with God and our relationships with each other. Note that the text actually starts with the line, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” 

The language about human marriage, about human partnership is an analogy. The language of the intimacy of partnership is the best way we have of describing our relationship with God. And the values that underlie this passage, that underlie a marriage at its best, are, in fact, applicable to all deep and strong relationships. 

A marriage at its best is a relationship that is grounded in love, respect, and care.   Founded on trust. Where each is faithful. Where we put the needs of the other above our own. Where we value the good of the whole over any solitary gain for ourselves. Where forgiveness and grace abound. It is a relationship that brings out the best in the other.  A relationship of mutual joy. A partnership where each brings strengths and gifts that enable mutual flourishing. 

This is to be our relationship with God and our deep and meaningful, relationships with each other. This also means it is God’s relationship with us. I think that is the part we might need reminding of these days. It can be easy to talk about our love for God and the obligations that come with that. We can be measuring ourselves up, striving to do more. I think sometimes we forget that relationships are a two way street. We forget to acknowledge and really let into our hearts the truth of God’s love for us.  God loves us with a profound, deep, and unending love. Ultimately Ephesians acknowledges that this love, this partnership is a mystery- it is beyond words. A love deeper and more beautiful than we can describe or fully comprehend. This love can only be lived. 

Lived with joy and passion. Lived with gratitude. Lived without fear. We are loved by God, utterly and completely.  It is an unending love. No matter what; we are loved.  

We are called to live out the truth of God's love in our lives. We are called to “walk in love as Christ loved us.” We are called to love ourselves, to love our neighbors. We are called to show God's love to the world. To be an example of grace and forgiveness. To be an example of light and love. Even in the face of hate, even in the face of darkness. We are called to live out the truth that God loves us.

Yet so often we do not live as though this is true. We often live in fear. We live in fear of our mistakes, afraid of our shortcomings, afraid we are not worthy of this love. We live afraid of the future, afraid of the “What ifs?” And in our fears we seem to forget the truth, the foundation of our faith. We are loved. Our sins are only scary if forgiveness is not possible. The future is only scary if God is not in it. Yet Christ tells us over and forgiveness is possible. Grace abounds. And God does not abandon us. The future will contain challenges- there are no guarantees that the road will be easy - yet we are promised that God will always be with us. ALWAYS. The truth of God's presence, and God's love in our lives is an enduring, eternal truth. 

So let us live into this truth in our lives. May it give us quiet confidence. May it give us strength to move forward in spite of our fears, in spite of the challenges we face. May we be open to God's daily reminders of how much we are loved. Each and every day may we live into and proclaim with our lives the deep and profound assurance that each of us is loved by God.  AMEN.