Teresa of Avila and Parenting

Rev. Molly F. James, Ph.D.

Chapel of Our Lord

October 15, 2024, Teresa of Avila

1 Samuel 3:1-18; Psalm 42:1-7; Romans 8:22-27; Mark 1:35-39

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

I have been reading a really helpful parenting book lately entitled “Good Inside” by Dr. Becky Kennedy. It was recommended by a dear friend. So far it has been an insightful and practical book that I am really appreciating. Perhaps the thing I appreciate most about it is that she says it’s never too late for repair. No matter how old we are, no matter old our kids are, it’s never too late to do things differently and re-wire our brains. The miracle of neuroplasticity. That’s the most hopeful thing I have found in this book. 

And this book has also challenged me. Perhaps her strongest point is that the best way to be a better parent is to do our own work. To take care of ourselves. Get enough rest and exercise. Eat well. Take time off. Do things that feed our souls. Reflect on our own childhood experiences and how they shaped us. Just like when Ms y of us were doing CPE, we need to be aware of the baggage we bring into the room. What are the behaviors in our children that trigger us? How might we work on our own challenges in order to be more fully present and best able to parent our children?

Here’s the thing though. While I find this all valuable parenting advice, I actually think it’s also really good advice for being a human and being a Christian. If we want to grow more fully into the stature of Christ, if we want to be who God is calling us to be, then we have to put the work in. We cannot simply sit around complaining about how everything would be easier in our lives if this person would stop doing X and that person would start doing Y. As much as we might wish to be able to change the behavior of our parents, our friends, our children, our colleagues, government officials, etc, etc. We cannot. The only person we can change is ourselves. 

Living our faith fully means investing in ourselves. Investing in our own well being. It means that we don’t run ourselves ragged nor do we do things just for the sake of being busy or seeming to be productive. We do the things that are worth doing. We do the things that build up the kingdom. 

Today we remember the mystic, St. Teresa of Avila who is perhaps best known for saying:  “Christ has no other hands but your hands to do his work today; no other feet but your feet to guide folk on his way; no other lips but your lips to tell them why he died; no other love but your love to win them to his side.” 

God is calling us, each of us, as God called Samuel. God is calling us to be our best selves. To live our faith with our lives and our bodies. To embody that love for everyone we meet- whether they are people we will have years upon years with like our children or our best friends or they are someone we will meet only once for a few minutes. 

Here’s the thing that is at the heart of what Teresa taught and at the heart of Dr. Becky’s parenting advice. We can do nothing for the world if we do not have love. If our hearts are not filled with love, we cannot share it with the world. And I think for many of us, especially those of us who are high achievers and doers, it can be to easy to just get doing and fail to pause, reflect, and see ourselves as worthy of the same love as everyone else. 

So, I hope that in the midst of this time of transition. In the midst of waiting and wondering how it’s all going to turn out for our church, our nation, and our world, we can turn a little bit inward to care for ourselves and to do that which fills our hearts with love, to see in ourselves the potential God sees in each of us. For when we are filled up with God’s love then we can indeed be Christ’s hands and feet to the world. Amen.