Mary and Martha or Michelle and Molly?

Molly & Michelle in college

Rev. Molly F. James

Chapel of Our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Mechtilde and Gertrude 

November 19, 2019

May God's word be spoken, May God's Word be heard, and May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

So, if we just changed the names, today's Gospel story of Mary and Martha could easily be about my college roommate Michelle and me. I am definitely a Martha. I get easily distracted by all the things I have to do. I get thinking about all the things I am supposed to do, and I often feel like I can't relax until I have done all the things on my “to do” list. I often like to work ahead. This meant in college that I would often write a paper days or even weeks before it was due. My roommate, Michelle, on the other hand, was quite adept at waking up early and cranking out a very good paper the day it was due. I marveled at this skill. To me that seemed like a very stressful way to do things. Yet the interesting thing was, my roommate did not seem very stressed. And although I know her mother would have preferred that my study skills inspired on Michelle, it happened the other way round. Mostly Michelle inspired me.

I learned that it was in fact possible to leave one's work behind and go have fun. Michelle helped me to remember that time having fun, time building relationships is important. Just as, if not even more important, than homework. Michelle showed me that life is much more fun if you learn how to forget about the “to do” list on occasion. It may be possible to do all our homework first in elementary school, but as we get older our to do lists get longer and longer. It just does not work to try to always work first and play later. We have to develop a balance. We have to learn how to incorporate play time and sabbath time in the midst of our busy lives.

The Gospel story today reminds us that what really matters is sabbath time. There will always be things to distract and worry us. Always being a “Martha” is a recipe for burnout. We need to cultivate our Mary moments. We need to cultivate time to slow down and rest. Time to be spiritually fed. Time to listen to what God is saying to us.

This is a counter­cultural idea. As any glance at a newspaper or a television will tell us, our culture is continually offering us ways to do more. The internet, email and cell phones allow us to be “at work” wherever we are. Stores expand their hours and encourage us to shop online at any time of the day or night. Now, of course, when we have a problem or need something fixed, we're glad that a repair person is willing to come out on a Sunday. We are glad when we can talk to customer service person at 11 o'clock at night. But if we are making a regular habit of doing “work” at those late hours or on what should be our sabbath, we ought to be asking ourselves whether this is really the best use of our time.

We need to slow down. We need to take a break. Now, I am not advocating throwing out our cell phones or disconnecting our computers. And I am not saying that we should never do work on the weekend. Nor would Michelle say that. She has gone on to become a successful lawyer and has put in many over­time hours. But if we find ourselves feeling tired and overwhelmed, we need to check the balance of Mary and Martha time in our lives. If we feel exhausted, chances are we have let Martha take over. We have forgotten the importance of slowing down and taking sabbath.

Because if we do that, if we slow down and take time for ourselves, we will actually be more productive in the time we do work. We need time to just sit, as Mary does. Time to sit and listen to Christ. Time to listen to who God is calling us to be. We can be assured that God is calling us to be whole, healthy, happy people. God is not interested in seeing us overworked or burnt out. As Christ reminds Mary and Martha, the fruits of the sabbath are something that cannot be taken away. The gifts of a deeper relationship with God. The fruits of listening to Christ, of taking time to “sit at his feet” and absorb his message are everlasting.

I am sure we have all met people who seem to possess an inner peace. They do not seem harried by the affairs of the world or the challenges of everyday life. This is not a unique gift that is only given to a select few. It is a gift freely given by God to us all, if only we are willing to cultivate it.

As Michelle, my roommate, showed me, it is not a gift that is cultivated by doing more work. It is a gift cultivated by slowing down, letting go and putting things aside. It is a gift that is cultivated by valuing relationships more than tasks.

It is also about filling our spiritual reservoirs up, so that we have the strength, courage and abiding faith we need to be God’s people in the world. And the world is very much in need of faithful people. There has been far too much violence in our news headlines, in California, in Syria, in our own cities and towns. Too many communities are divided. We seem far more aware in recent weeks of the realities of human sinfulness and how much pain and suffering there is. There is much work for us to do in the world. The world needs our hope. It needs our story of how God can bring new life out of humanity’s darkest moments. The world needs our conviction that God’s beautiful, restoring, reconciling love is at work in the world. The world needs to hear our belief that transformation is possible. 

And in order to do that holy work in the world, we need Sabbath time. Sabbath is meant to be an integral part of our lives. Just as we care for our bodies by eating well and drinking water everyday, so to are we to care for our souls by observing sabbath. Sabbath does not necessarily mean that we have to withdraw from the world for one day every week. But sabbath does mean that we must be sure that we do not let days go by without taking time for ourselves to be with God. Especially as our hearts are breaking at our news headlines or at events in our own lives and communities, we need sabbath so that we have the strength and the courage to live out our faith in the world.

Time for prayer and Bible study are wonderful ways to deepen our relationship with God, and those are not the only ways. Sabbath time is time to do whatever it is that is restorative. That may be time to read a good book just for fun. It may be time outside. It may be time with loved ones or a phone call to an old friend. It may be watching a movie or playing a game. It may be time to work on a favorite craft or hobby. It may be time to just sit and do nothing. Whatever it is, it needs to be an integral part of our lives. We all need time for the things that help us to breathe easier, the things that make us smile. I think those two measures are a good way to test ourselves as to whether we have enough sabbath in our lives. How's our breathing? Is it slow and deep? Do we feel relaxed? And are we smiling? How many things have we done today that have made us smile?

If the answer is zero or only one or two, if our breathing is fast or shallow – those are telltale signs that we do not have enough sabbath in our lives. And we all know that each of us, and the world as a whole could use more hope and transformation, which will only be possible if we all have a little more sabbath. 

AMEN. 

Love and the limits of the English Language

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Chapel of our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Charles Simeon, November 12, 2019

Psalm 145:8-13; Isaiah 12:1-6; Romans 10:8b-17;John 21:15-17

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Perhaps one of the most quotable movies of my childhood is the fairy tale movie, Princess Bride. One of my favorite quotes is from Mandy Patikin’s character, in response to his friend who keeps saying “Inconceivable!” He says, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” I think Mandy would fit right in with our Gospel reading for today. I can just imagine him standing next to Jesus and Peter, saying, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” So true.  

This is one of those Gospel readings where the limits of the English language really do us a disservice. Jesus and Peter are having a conversation, but when we look at the original Greek, “conversation” might be a little generous. They are really talking past each other. Jesus keeps asking Peter if he loves him. Peter keeps saying he does, but they are not actually saying the same thing. Jesus is asking Peter if he loves him, using the Greek word, Agape. Peter keeps answering that he loves him using the Greek word, Phileo. As most of you likely know, those two words do not mean the same thing. 

Agape love is the love Jesus has for us. It is the love of spouses for each other. It is the love parents have for their children. It is the love of cherished values and principles. It is the kind of love that we would give anything to protect, up to and including our own lives. It is the self-sacrificing love we see most evident in the life and death of Jesus. 

And Peter just keeps answering him with “Phileo.” That’s the love of friends. It can be deep and meaningful, of course. But it is not the all consuming, all giving love that is Agape. It is just another story where it can be tempting to chide the disciples for how thick headed they can be. You want to shake Peter’s shoulder and say, “Don’t you get it? Don’t you hear what Jesus is asking of you? He doesn’t just want you to be his friend. He wants you to be willing to lay down your life for him.” It is easy to chide Peter for his thick headedness or for his fear, but really if we think about it, no doubt, we too have had our Peter moments. 

This conversation has significant staying power because it is a conversation any of us could have on any day with Jesus. We are faced with a question or with a dilemma, and through it Jesus is asking us, “Do you love me?” Jesus is asking us to do the right thing, even if it is hard. To follow the Way of Love. To do the thing that calls us into being our best self. To do the thing that builds up the Kingdom.  

And yet, it can be so tempting to be like Peter. Especially if we are tired or anxious. If we are feeling angry or unloved ourselves. If we are feeling short on patience, then it can be tempting to want to be like Peter and give just a little bit. 

But where our faith is concerned, where Jesus is concerned, a little bit does not cut it. Being a follower of Jesus is not something we can do lightly or half-heartedly. Jesus asks us to jump into the deep end of the pool, not to wade into our knees and call it good enough. It may seem like a lot to ask of us, to give our whole selves, our whole lives over to Jesus, but if we have ever felt the effects of agape love in our own human relationships, we know it is completely worth it. 

Perhaps you know that love from a spouse, someone who has willingly sacrificed in order to bring you joy. Or perhaps you have been blessed to have a parent who has given you that kind of love, where you have seen them put aside their own wants and desires in order to realize a dream for you? And if you are a parent, then you know what it feels like to give this love, it is instinctual and automatic. And the amazing thing is that it does not feel like a painful sacrifice, for the joy that comes from building up and caring for someone we love is a gift, a blessing far outweighs any challenges. And that my friends, is also the love that Jesus has for us. A generous, giving love that overflows into the world. 

In our Gospel today, and everyday, Jesus is inviting us to share in that love. To allow his love for us into our hearts, and to follow him, to love as he loves. Jesus is inviting us to be an example for the world of what it looks like to be a community of people who live lives overflowing with love. Jesus is inviting us to join him in transforming the world. AMEN.