Celebrating 40 with 40 Acts of Kindness

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40 Years, 40 Acts of Kindness
I owe great thanks to my dear friend, the wonderful Julie Hoplamazian for the idea of celebrating 40 with 40 Acts of Kindness and for the bulk of this list.

Dearest Family and Friends,

In January, I will turn 40, and I want to celebrate by sending a little more hope and joy out into the world. Below is a list of 40 different acts of kindness. I am inviting you to do one (or more!) and then share with me which one(s) you did with a few sentences of reflection.

If you are willing, I will share all the stories I receive at my local celebration in CT, as well as on this blog. Good news and heart-warming stories are meant to be shared!

I consider it a great privilege to reach this milestone age. Thank you for joining me in celebration of all the blessings of our lives.

with so much gratitude,

Molly

(mollyfjames@gmail.com or you can just comment below)

Some possibilities . . .

1. Write a letter - not an email - to someone who needs a pick-me-up

2. Leave a generous tip

3. Ask someone how they’re doing, and listen to the answer

4. Take out your neighbor’s trash

5. Donate to a school lunch program or The Locker Project

6. Donate to a teacher’s need page

7. Send someone flowers for no reason

8. Send someone a card just to say hello

9. Volunteer at a local soup kitchen

10. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter

11. Accompany an immigrant to their ICE check-in (visit newsanctuarynyc.org for more information)

12. Pay for the person behind you in line

13. Call that person you’ve been meaning to call

14. Send something to troops, either for the holidays or otherwise

15. Send a college kid you know a care package

16. Babysit a friend’s kids and give them the night off

17. Spend one whole day only giving compliments to everyone you see

18. That person you can’t stand? Find one nice thing about them and tell them directly.

19. For one week, only share uplifting, inspiring posts on social media

20. For one week, only like/comment on uplifting, inspiring posts on social media

21. Give/ read a book to a child

22. Bring a meal to friends who are strung out and could use a hand

23. Every time you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about a person, pray for them instead. Prayer changes things, usually us

24. Donate to one of the following organizations in my honor:

Make-A-Wish of Maine

Maine Children's Cancer Program

The Jimmy Fund

25. With their consent, give someone a hug who really needs it

26. Bring a treat to work for everyone to share

27. Leave a positive sticky note on someone’s desk

28. Let the person behind you in line go in front of you

29. Write a card to hospitalized child through Cards for Hospitalized Kids

30. Offer to help someone who needs it

31. Write a note of encouragement to your religious leader

32. Pick up your neighborhood litter

33. Give a stranger a compliment

34. Give a meal to the homeless person asking for help

35. Support a local small business

36. Donate gently used clothes you no longer wear

37. Give up your seat on the subway/bus/train

38. Take the time to write or give a positive review

39. Say hello to the person on the elevator, on the sidewalk, or other place you’d usually just keep quiet.

40. Think of your own act of kindness! And while you’re at it… be kind to yourself too!

Remembering what matters . . .

Photo from our son's school where they honored Sandy Hook with Kindness Day.

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD
Chapel of our Lord, Episcopal Church Center
December 17, 2019
Dorothy Sayers

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word, who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.


“I preferred her to sceptres and thrones, and I accounted wealth as nothing in comparison with her. Neither did I liken to her any priceless gem, because all gold is but a little sand in her sight, and silver will be accounted as clay before her. I loved her more than health and beauty, and I chose to have her rather than light, because her radiance never ceases.”

I kind of wish I could make a Christmas ad out of this passage. It would be such a nice contrast to all the messages about what we need this time of year is some new furniture, jewelry, gift card, or gadget. Our passage from wisdom offers us such a valuable opportunity to reset and realign our priorities. Maybe you all are really good at keeping them in line, but I know I certainly have my moments of get sidetracked and losing my focus.

It is one of the things I value about worship and reading Scripture. Somehow God always finds a way to nudge me, and say, “Remember?” Remember to slow down. Remember to take a deep breath. Remember what matters. Remember that relationship, love, laughter, the intangible blessings of life are what matter. Remember that if we focus on what really matters the other stuff really does sort itself out.


This past weekend, we marked the seventh anniversary of the shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school. I was on our bishop’s staff in CT when that happened. I spent that terrible afternoon with our bishops, helping our parish of Trinity, Newtown to host hundreds of people for a vigil service that evening. And I returned to Trinity the following week to help at the funeral service for one of the victims.

As I am sure you all have experienced, there is nothing like the tragic death of a child to make you sit up and pay attention. It highlights the stark reality of just how precious and fragile life really is. There are no guarantees.

Now when something like that happens, we have a choice. We can be overwhelmed by our own fear and sadness. We can feel as though the darkness is all consuming. Or we can choose to have the experience be talisman we carry with us to remind us what really matters. Of course, this does not mean we don’t still feel pain and sadness we do. Every time I go to visit my children’s elementary school, I have to ring a buzzer and stand in front of a camera before the door is unlocked. Before Sandy Hook I could have walked right in. I think of those kids every time I push that button. The pain is there. The fear is there. But I can’t let them overwhelm me.
They need to be a galvanizing force. A motivating force. They help me to keep my focus and my priorities.
Of course, I also fail at this on a regular basis. I lose my patience. I get sidetracked or frustrated. I get to thinking that my To Do List is the most important thing today. But blessedly God doesn’t seem to let me stray too far. Someone or something will help me remember where my priorities ought to be.

So, I hope that today you can hear the profound and beautiful truth at the heart of our readings today. The most important things in life are not things. Life is beautiful, fragile, and precious. We are meant to cherish it and to make the most of whatever time we have. So I hope that in this Advent season, I hope you will find lots of ways to cherish all that is beautiful in your life. AMEN.

A little bit of light, a little bit of hope

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Grace Episcopal Church, Hartford, CT 

Advent 1A, December 1, 2019

Isaiah 2:1-5; Romans 13:11-14; Matthew 24:36-44; Psalm 122

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word, who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Beginning when I was in third grade, my mom and I started a tradition we called “People Trips.” I loved to read biographies. We would spend the winter reading biographies about someone and then plan a trip to where they lived and worked. We did trips on John F. Kennedy, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Lucy Maud Montgomery (author of Anne of Green Gables), Helen Keller, Winston Churchill, and Eleanor Roosevelt. That last one being  was probably my favorite and the most memorable. In addition to visiting Hyde Park and Valkill, we spent one afternoon riding in a cab around New York City. My mom had dutifully made a list of all the places Franklin and Eleanor had lived in the city. And then we ended with a stop to her memorial on Riverside Drive at the United Nations. Emblazoned on that memorial is a quote from Adalai Stevenson about Eleanor. He said, “She would rather light a candle than curse the darkness.” Indeed. 

As I read our readings for today, I could not help but think of this quote. Paul, in our letter from Romans, and our Collect invite us to “put on the armor of light.” I don’t know about you all, but I really appreciate that our readings this time of year focus on increasing the light. Of course, for those of us in the Northern Hempisphere, this fits exactly with what we are experiencing. We are only a few short weeks away from the longest night of the year. We are quite literally aware of the increasing darkness, and I would guess that most of us are craving more light. 

There can be a certain coziness to this time of year. More time spent inside, reading, cooking, playing board games. More sleep! But I would imagine that for most of us, it isn’t just the literal daylight that we crave. We crave a world that more deeply reflects the light of the Gospel. There are acrimonious divisions among our politicians, we are country deeply affected by the sin of racism, there is so much violence in our headlines, natural disasters seem to be an almost weekly occurrence. If we want to point to things that make the world feel dark and scary, there is no shortage. And it would be easy to just keep up the litany of complaints, to keep pointing out what is wrong with the world. It is the pastime of humanity from the dawn of time, complaining about the state of the world (see Genesis 3 and Adam and Eve’s first conversation with God, see the Israelites grumbling in the wilderness, etc.) You get the idea. Complaining is easy. 

Signing up to be a part of the solution? Take the initiative to choose a different path? Those are more challenging. Sin and evil are real. The devil likes nothing more than to paralyze with fear or to  get us to think that we are powerless to change something. We are not powerless. Not by any means. And we are going to be held accountable for our actions. That is what our Gospel reminds us of today. What we say and do matters. How we live our lives matters. We have power. We have a choice. We can give in to complaining or we can choose to live lives that light up the world. We can choose to live lives that share the light of Christ, share the Good News of God’s love with the world. We don’t have to do everything or fix everything. We do not bear this light alone. We just need to do our part. 

Think about the image of a candle. Think of how one small flame pushes back the darkness. Think about what happens when you use that single flame to light other candles. Pretty soon the whole room is full of light. All it takes is a little bit of light, a little bit of hope. 

So, my invitation to you today is to reflect on how you can put on your armor of light, of how you can stay focused on light and hope, even when we feel profoundly aware of the darkness that surrounds us. I invite you to think about, and keep at the forefront of your mind, whatever it is that fills you with hope. Maybe it is time spent with children? Maybe it is witnessing or doing small, simple acts of  kindness? Maybe it is knowing what a difference the feeding ministry and Christmas giving programs make here at Grace? Maybe it is a conversation with a good friend whose presence and voice just lift your spirits? Maybe it is the beauty of creation? Maybe it is time spent in prayer or reading Scripture? Whatever it is in your life that brings you joy and fills you with hope, I invite you to do more of it. To help you have a tangible reminder to have more light in your life and to be God’s light to the world, I have baskets of candles in the Narthex and here on the front pew. It is just a small battery operated tealight (so you can use it anywhere), and I hope that it will be easy to place on a windowsill or bedside table. Somewhere you see it often. May it be a reminder of the power of a single flame to push back the darkness. May it be a reminder that there is always a reason to hope. AMEN.

Mary and Martha or Michelle and Molly?

Molly & Michelle in college

Rev. Molly F. James

Chapel of Our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Mechtilde and Gertrude 

November 19, 2019

May God's word be spoken, May God's Word be heard, and May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

So, if we just changed the names, today's Gospel story of Mary and Martha could easily be about my college roommate Michelle and me. I am definitely a Martha. I get easily distracted by all the things I have to do. I get thinking about all the things I am supposed to do, and I often feel like I can't relax until I have done all the things on my “to do” list. I often like to work ahead. This meant in college that I would often write a paper days or even weeks before it was due. My roommate, Michelle, on the other hand, was quite adept at waking up early and cranking out a very good paper the day it was due. I marveled at this skill. To me that seemed like a very stressful way to do things. Yet the interesting thing was, my roommate did not seem very stressed. And although I know her mother would have preferred that my study skills inspired on Michelle, it happened the other way round. Mostly Michelle inspired me.

I learned that it was in fact possible to leave one's work behind and go have fun. Michelle helped me to remember that time having fun, time building relationships is important. Just as, if not even more important, than homework. Michelle showed me that life is much more fun if you learn how to forget about the “to do” list on occasion. It may be possible to do all our homework first in elementary school, but as we get older our to do lists get longer and longer. It just does not work to try to always work first and play later. We have to develop a balance. We have to learn how to incorporate play time and sabbath time in the midst of our busy lives.

The Gospel story today reminds us that what really matters is sabbath time. There will always be things to distract and worry us. Always being a “Martha” is a recipe for burnout. We need to cultivate our Mary moments. We need to cultivate time to slow down and rest. Time to be spiritually fed. Time to listen to what God is saying to us.

This is a counter­cultural idea. As any glance at a newspaper or a television will tell us, our culture is continually offering us ways to do more. The internet, email and cell phones allow us to be “at work” wherever we are. Stores expand their hours and encourage us to shop online at any time of the day or night. Now, of course, when we have a problem or need something fixed, we're glad that a repair person is willing to come out on a Sunday. We are glad when we can talk to customer service person at 11 o'clock at night. But if we are making a regular habit of doing “work” at those late hours or on what should be our sabbath, we ought to be asking ourselves whether this is really the best use of our time.

We need to slow down. We need to take a break. Now, I am not advocating throwing out our cell phones or disconnecting our computers. And I am not saying that we should never do work on the weekend. Nor would Michelle say that. She has gone on to become a successful lawyer and has put in many over­time hours. But if we find ourselves feeling tired and overwhelmed, we need to check the balance of Mary and Martha time in our lives. If we feel exhausted, chances are we have let Martha take over. We have forgotten the importance of slowing down and taking sabbath.

Because if we do that, if we slow down and take time for ourselves, we will actually be more productive in the time we do work. We need time to just sit, as Mary does. Time to sit and listen to Christ. Time to listen to who God is calling us to be. We can be assured that God is calling us to be whole, healthy, happy people. God is not interested in seeing us overworked or burnt out. As Christ reminds Mary and Martha, the fruits of the sabbath are something that cannot be taken away. The gifts of a deeper relationship with God. The fruits of listening to Christ, of taking time to “sit at his feet” and absorb his message are everlasting.

I am sure we have all met people who seem to possess an inner peace. They do not seem harried by the affairs of the world or the challenges of everyday life. This is not a unique gift that is only given to a select few. It is a gift freely given by God to us all, if only we are willing to cultivate it.

As Michelle, my roommate, showed me, it is not a gift that is cultivated by doing more work. It is a gift cultivated by slowing down, letting go and putting things aside. It is a gift that is cultivated by valuing relationships more than tasks.

It is also about filling our spiritual reservoirs up, so that we have the strength, courage and abiding faith we need to be God’s people in the world. And the world is very much in need of faithful people. There has been far too much violence in our news headlines, in California, in Syria, in our own cities and towns. Too many communities are divided. We seem far more aware in recent weeks of the realities of human sinfulness and how much pain and suffering there is. There is much work for us to do in the world. The world needs our hope. It needs our story of how God can bring new life out of humanity’s darkest moments. The world needs our conviction that God’s beautiful, restoring, reconciling love is at work in the world. The world needs to hear our belief that transformation is possible. 

And in order to do that holy work in the world, we need Sabbath time. Sabbath is meant to be an integral part of our lives. Just as we care for our bodies by eating well and drinking water everyday, so to are we to care for our souls by observing sabbath. Sabbath does not necessarily mean that we have to withdraw from the world for one day every week. But sabbath does mean that we must be sure that we do not let days go by without taking time for ourselves to be with God. Especially as our hearts are breaking at our news headlines or at events in our own lives and communities, we need sabbath so that we have the strength and the courage to live out our faith in the world.

Time for prayer and Bible study are wonderful ways to deepen our relationship with God, and those are not the only ways. Sabbath time is time to do whatever it is that is restorative. That may be time to read a good book just for fun. It may be time outside. It may be time with loved ones or a phone call to an old friend. It may be watching a movie or playing a game. It may be time to work on a favorite craft or hobby. It may be time to just sit and do nothing. Whatever it is, it needs to be an integral part of our lives. We all need time for the things that help us to breathe easier, the things that make us smile. I think those two measures are a good way to test ourselves as to whether we have enough sabbath in our lives. How's our breathing? Is it slow and deep? Do we feel relaxed? And are we smiling? How many things have we done today that have made us smile?

If the answer is zero or only one or two, if our breathing is fast or shallow – those are telltale signs that we do not have enough sabbath in our lives. And we all know that each of us, and the world as a whole could use more hope and transformation, which will only be possible if we all have a little more sabbath. 

AMEN. 

Love and the limits of the English Language

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Chapel of our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Charles Simeon, November 12, 2019

Psalm 145:8-13; Isaiah 12:1-6; Romans 10:8b-17;John 21:15-17

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Perhaps one of the most quotable movies of my childhood is the fairy tale movie, Princess Bride. One of my favorite quotes is from Mandy Patikin’s character, in response to his friend who keeps saying “Inconceivable!” He says, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” I think Mandy would fit right in with our Gospel reading for today. I can just imagine him standing next to Jesus and Peter, saying, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” So true.  

This is one of those Gospel readings where the limits of the English language really do us a disservice. Jesus and Peter are having a conversation, but when we look at the original Greek, “conversation” might be a little generous. They are really talking past each other. Jesus keeps asking Peter if he loves him. Peter keeps saying he does, but they are not actually saying the same thing. Jesus is asking Peter if he loves him, using the Greek word, Agape. Peter keeps answering that he loves him using the Greek word, Phileo. As most of you likely know, those two words do not mean the same thing. 

Agape love is the love Jesus has for us. It is the love of spouses for each other. It is the love parents have for their children. It is the love of cherished values and principles. It is the kind of love that we would give anything to protect, up to and including our own lives. It is the self-sacrificing love we see most evident in the life and death of Jesus. 

And Peter just keeps answering him with “Phileo.” That’s the love of friends. It can be deep and meaningful, of course. But it is not the all consuming, all giving love that is Agape. It is just another story where it can be tempting to chide the disciples for how thick headed they can be. You want to shake Peter’s shoulder and say, “Don’t you get it? Don’t you hear what Jesus is asking of you? He doesn’t just want you to be his friend. He wants you to be willing to lay down your life for him.” It is easy to chide Peter for his thick headedness or for his fear, but really if we think about it, no doubt, we too have had our Peter moments. 

This conversation has significant staying power because it is a conversation any of us could have on any day with Jesus. We are faced with a question or with a dilemma, and through it Jesus is asking us, “Do you love me?” Jesus is asking us to do the right thing, even if it is hard. To follow the Way of Love. To do the thing that calls us into being our best self. To do the thing that builds up the Kingdom.  

And yet, it can be so tempting to be like Peter. Especially if we are tired or anxious. If we are feeling angry or unloved ourselves. If we are feeling short on patience, then it can be tempting to want to be like Peter and give just a little bit. 

But where our faith is concerned, where Jesus is concerned, a little bit does not cut it. Being a follower of Jesus is not something we can do lightly or half-heartedly. Jesus asks us to jump into the deep end of the pool, not to wade into our knees and call it good enough. It may seem like a lot to ask of us, to give our whole selves, our whole lives over to Jesus, but if we have ever felt the effects of agape love in our own human relationships, we know it is completely worth it. 

Perhaps you know that love from a spouse, someone who has willingly sacrificed in order to bring you joy. Or perhaps you have been blessed to have a parent who has given you that kind of love, where you have seen them put aside their own wants and desires in order to realize a dream for you? And if you are a parent, then you know what it feels like to give this love, it is instinctual and automatic. And the amazing thing is that it does not feel like a painful sacrifice, for the joy that comes from building up and caring for someone we love is a gift, a blessing far outweighs any challenges. And that my friends, is also the love that Jesus has for us. A generous, giving love that overflows into the world. 

In our Gospel today, and everyday, Jesus is inviting us to share in that love. To allow his love for us into our hearts, and to follow him, to love as he loves. Jesus is inviting us to be an example for the world of what it looks like to be a community of people who live lives overflowing with love. Jesus is inviting us to join him in transforming the world. AMEN. 

Prodigal Son

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Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

Chapel of our Lord, Episcopal Church Center

Maryan of Quidun

Hosea 2:14–23;Psalm 130;Luke 15:11–24

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the Living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Today we get the famous parable about the prodigal son. The son who takes his father’s money and squanders it in a foreign land and returns home in disgrace. Although we would expect him to be chastised and punished by his father for how irresponsible he has been, he is not. No, instead he is welcomed with open arms and a feast has been prepared. And that, of course, is the point. This is the parable about the wideness of God’s mercy. It is a parable about how immense God’s love is. And I think there is another important message in this parable that is often overlooked. 

It is often overlooked, because the character is often overlooked. Who do we focus on in this parable? We focus on the father and the wayward son, particularly on days like this when we remember the life of someone like Maryan of Quidun who fell into sin and then repented. And of course, we all have had times when we have gone astray in our own lives, and so we can identify with the prodigal son. And I would bet most (if not all) of us can identify with the father figure. We know the joy of being reunited with a loved one. We know the joy that comes when reconciliation happens and a broken relationship is healed! But we don’t often focus on the other son, the one who is left behind and who is so angry that a feast is prepared for the brother who returns!

It is quite understandable that we have a dislike for that brother, because identifying with him would likely mean owning up to a part of ourselves that we don’t like. It would mean owning up to the part of ourselves that gets jealous of other people’s success. It would mean owning up to the part of ourselves that desperately wants to be loved and appreciated by others. It would mean owning up to the part of ourselves that operates from a theology of scarcity - a conviction that there is not enough love to go around, and so we must be in competition with our siblings for our parents’ love and with every other person for the love of God. 

I will admit to having my brotherly moments. My moments when I have been too self-centered and unable to rejoice in another’s success, moments when I have been sure there isn’t enough love to go around. 

I think if we take a good, hard look at ourselves and our motives, we will realize we have all been there. As much as we would prefer not to admit it, we have behaved in selfish ways. As it says in the Morning Prayer Rite I confession, we have “followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.” We are guilty of operating from a theology of scarcity. 

Most of the time we focus on this parable as one of comfort, one that reminds us that we are loved by God even if we have gone terribly astray, even if we have squandered the gifts that we have been given. That is an important and valuable lesson. And I want to offer that there is another important and valuable lesson in this text. It is less about our own comfort and more about stretching us to be who God calls us to be. I believe the story of the prodigal son is an invitation for us to stretch ourselves and to be more graceful. It is a parable about grace, but it is not just about God’s grace - it is about how we can be grace-filled people too. 

It is an invitation to behave more like the father than the older brother. It is an invitation to operate from a theology of abundance. There is enough love, enough joy for everyone. We ARE NOT in competition for God’s love or each other’s love. There is plenty to go around. That is the thing about love, the more you give it away - the more you share it with others- the more there is to go around. 

So, the next time someone receives an accolade you thought you deserved or the next time you want to launch into an angry tirade about how undeserving someone is or the next time you feel your competitive spirit get the better of you, slow down. Take a deep breath and remember the story of the prodigal son. Try being gracious. Try seeing them through the father’s eyes, through God’s eyes. Try putting a smile on your face and reaching out in love. You might just be pleasantly surprised by the results!

AMEN. 

Reflections on Healing and Wholeness

St. Alban's, Simsbury

Rev. Molly F. James, PhD

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church, Simsbury, CT 

Proper 23C, October 13, 2019

Jeremiah 29:1, 4-7; Psalm 66:1-11; 2 Timothy 2:8-15; Luke 17:11-19

May God’s Word be spoken. May God’s Word be heard. May that point us to the living Word who is Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

“Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.” So says our Gospel reading from Luke this morning. I will own that this is one of my favorite passages of Scripture. It was on one of the stained glass windows in my home parish. It has been a formational passage in my own journey. As most of you know, I had bone cancer as a teenager. Given that experience, as you might imagine, questions of healing and wellness have long been central to my life. I think this passage deserves some unpacking. It can be tempting to just take it on face value. The difficulty is that when we do that we risk setting ourselves up for serious disappointment. On its surface the statement that “Your faith has made you well” is problematic. It could be seen as implying that if we only pray hard enough, we will be healed from whatever ails us. But we all know stories of truly faithful, good people who struggle with illness, loss or other challenges. Prayer can make a difference. It has an impact on us and on our world. But it is not a magic cure all that fixes everything. This is where I want to draw an important distinction between wellness and perfection. 

I think we often think that being healed means miraculous healing that erases all signs of disease. Like in our Scripture today where the lepers are made clean. Or are any of you Indiana Jones fans? In the Last Crusade, when they find the holy grail and pour water from it on his father’s bullet wound, the skin heals instantly and there is no sign of the wound. I think we are often hoping for that kind of healing in our lives. We are hoping that the pain and suffering, the scars, the wounds, whether they are physical or emotional, will just disappear. That somehow we can be “cured” in a way that erases any trace of a disease. It is not an accident that we think this might be possible. Think of all the advertising images that we see that emphasize having the perfect skin, the perfect hair, the perfect physique, etc. We are bombarded with images that emphasize a very particular, flawless image of what it means to be beautiful. But those superficial standards of what it means to be “well” and “healthy,” are not what Scripture gives us. 

Think of the Resurrection narratives. What is one of the profound truths about the Resurrected Jesus? Doubting Thomas only knows it is Jesus when he is able to touch his wounds. That it so important! Jesus still had his wounds. Resurrection did not completely undo the crucifixion, it transformed it. The reality of healing, of bringing life out of death, did not mean erasing the wounds. It is possible to have wounds AND to be transformed and made “well.” 

As someone who has been physically and emotionally scarred by life, and by the experience of having cancer in particular, I find such tremendous comfort in this truth. Our faith can be, and is, an essential part of our healing process. But having faith does not mean that we will not be wounded. We will have trials. We will be scarred. And that is okay. We are not alone in our challenges. Our Lord and Savior knows what it is to be wounded. He has offered reassurance to us that healing is not about being made perfect. It is about being made well and whole. That includes our wounds. It is possible to be well and still wounded at the same time. 

Many of you may also be familiar with the work of Henri Nouwen, and in particular his book, Wounded Healer. Nouwen’s premise is that our ability to minister with others in the midst of crisis is absolutely connected to our own experiences of being wounded. Our ability to be a comforting and healing presence is, in fact, enhanced by our own experiences of pain and suffering. We can walk with others exactly because we have confronted our mortality, because we have wrestled with the fragility and sacredness of life. I think it helps to have Nouwen articulate this truth for us, and we know this from our own experience. Think of the most profound relationships of your life. Do you feel a deep connection with that person because you like the same kind of soda or you have the same favorite color? Or because you like the same kind of shoes? Maybe, but I would wager that our most profound relationships are forged through moments of crisis and vulnerability. The relationships that matter most to us are the ones where we can be vulnerable, where we can share our wounds, where we do not feel the need to put up a false front of perfection. 

The relationships that matter most to us are the people we can call up in the middle of the night when our hearts are broken. The people who can tell us the truth in love, even when it hurts. The people who inspire us to be our best selves, precisely because they know our weaknesses and our challenges. 

So, while we are bombarded by images that promote a flawless, perfect life, I am not sure it is actually something worth wanting. I think I am okay with the fact that our faith brings wholeness to our brokenness not by erasing our wounds, but by making them holy. In the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, God has shown us that hope and beauty, that new life and possibility, are born not when everything goes just right, but when it all seems to be going sideways and wrong. 

Whatever wounds or brokeness you might be struggling with this week, whatever ways life has gone sideways, I hope you will take comfort in the assurance that God is with us in the midst of it all.  We do not need to pretend that life is perfect or that it should be. We can be honest about our challenges, and we can trust that God is at work in our lives and in the world bringing about healing and wholeness. AMEN.